well most of my day revolves around power hour
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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