well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
