Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Randomize
