and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
