i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize