If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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