There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize