You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
