WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
The Olympian is in my bed
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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