god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Can you repeat that, but with context?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
