i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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