Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize