thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I have fence marks all over my body
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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