She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Randomize
