If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize