Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
