I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
