Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
