We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
