as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
