i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
