just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
