You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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