remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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