He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize