he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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