are you still at the devil's house?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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