I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
