My first STD was from a foam party
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
