i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
