We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
