the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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