A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
