I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
a search helicopter?!
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
