how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
