If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
