just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
