scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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