Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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