I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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