I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
