Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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