True but thats because hes a fetus.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
