scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
