...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
