The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize