I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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