I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
