I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
