So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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