hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
