she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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