DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
