you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
