When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
