Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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