Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
