to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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