garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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