So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
