I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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