I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
