haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize