Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
