Just cropdusted the office
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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