you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
