I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize