If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
