i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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