When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
