I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
