Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
