hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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